question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
