There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
