Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize