my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
