please come you make the beer taste better
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
