I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
