Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
