i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
