she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
