Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
