idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize