he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
