I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have aggressive nipples.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
