It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
