3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Screwed.edu
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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