youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
