her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
