don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
