u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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