seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
