Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
it glows. i had to have it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
