He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My dick has a subreddit
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
