I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
