so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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