Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
All the doctor said was why
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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