hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
