So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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