so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize