Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
