Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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