The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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