I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize