wat bout pragnant strippers??
what day is it and did you see me today?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
As shirtless as possible
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
