Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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