just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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