I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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