I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
