i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
