I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
