I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
