I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
