when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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