How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
