How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize