Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
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