I think I am morally bankrupt
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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