How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
