I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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