I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
