so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
