I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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