Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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