Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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