did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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