i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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