That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
