Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize