so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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