She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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