just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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