dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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