You can't special order awesome
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
