I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
