Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
