i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
