are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
