you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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