let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
