love makes seman taste better
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
