Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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