I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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