if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
