She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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