I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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