You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
