I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
